Process Writing

How To Try To Write Good

It was winter when I started to try to write narrative journalism features. Whenever I had a blank piece of paper in front of me (either on a screen or over a table) I was completely snowed under with having to write something smart and artful about whatever it could be. Now that I’ve completed a course in narrative journalism I must admit that I still feel overwhelmed when I start writing an article. However, I’m not beset any longer by writing good as I was during winter; I’m beset by having so many ideas and scenes I want to talk about that I don’t know where to start or how to shape them.

Nevertheless, I learned to do something practical in this type of situations. After the brain-storming of ideas that overwhelmed me in the first place, and before start writing, I now include a “planning” stage. It’s a simple step where I write simple sentences or even incoherent phrases about the thoughts that I want to express throughout the piece. The idea of an erudite getting inspired by the muses and suddenly writing magnificent pieces of his craft doesn’t work for me. I need to have at least a rough outline before I write the first paragraph. Most of the times I end up changing that outline completely, but just knowing that a guide is there, makes me feel relaxed and free to start writing.

Then is when a rough draft begins to appear and each one of those illogical phrases turns into related sentences and then actual paragraphs. This is the hardest part, the part where I feel that my writing “gets born.” Once I have several paragraphs that can stand on their own, they start jumping all over the page until I sense there’s a flow throughout the entire piece. After that, the touchup process comes and the rough draft is almost done, except for a short editing evaluation.

If after reading the article one more time I can tell that: a point of view is expressed; that there are scenes which are nice to read; and that the ending isn’t terrible; then I consider my draft ready to be revised, but not by me. There’s a certain point where I have read and thought about my article so much that any judgment that I can provide is useless. Therefore, unless I wait a couple of days, someone else has to proof-read my work.

Feedback, when is critical, is something that I appreciate very much. Once I’ve gathered some feedback there‘s also a part of sorting. Although it feels nice to hear compliments about how enjoyable it was to read my piece, when I read comments such as “I enjoyed reading your article, good job,” I can’t really do much with it. Sometimes it’s even frustrating because those are the kind of comments that I write when either I’m in a hurry, or when what I read didn’t really tell me anything.

Getting back into my writing, I’ve come to believe that editing – proof-reading – and providing feedback are part of an infinite cycle. Besides writing, video production is something that I feel very passionate about. Why do I mention this? Because whenever I see my finished products, I always feel the urge to go back into the edit room and change something. The same happens with my narrative pieces. This doesn’t mean that I think that a piece shouldn’t be edited, not at all. But sometimes it’s ok to just let it go and move on to the next work.

I’m conscious that not all my articles are going to be good; in fact, several might be bad, so whenever the final product isn’t what I expect after editing it twice, I think I shouldn’t keep working on that at least for a while. It’s better to give it a try to something new than to be stuck with a bad piece. However, to recognize that a work is poor, and to know the reason is what makes the difference. One thing is to write something not effective and not know it, and another is to be conscious that an article isn’t effective, but decide not to work on it for some time. This is one of the reasons why I decided not to revise my profile essay again. Instead, I decided to focus on my final profile which is a profile as well.

Humbly I would say that throughout the course I’ve felt I’ve improved in my craft and I feel strong about it. There will always be things to work on, but hopefully there are many pieces to come.

Final Feature Revised

The Tribe Man

Rufus Karanja arrived to America with a huge smile on his face. He was one of the 30 students from around the world that arrived in Kalamazoo, Michigan on September 11^th, 2008. Rufus came from Kenya, where studied political science at the University of Nairobi. Soon after arriving, the international students were asked to introduce themselves in an informal welcoming act. Rufus was telling jokes to Brenda, his Kenyan compatriot who came from a different tribe, when his name was called out. “Hello everyone, it’s a pleasure to be. My name is Rufus Karanja and I’m here thanks to the Kalamazoo College scholarship,” he said. Then he took a paper out of his pocket.

Although his 38K scholarship covered his tuition, food, medical insurance and other upkeep expenses during his year abroad, Rufus didn’t have it easy. He still had to pay for his plane ticket and for legal fees. In a family where the income per parent doesn’t reach $200 per month according to the World Bank, to buy a $2000 plane ticket is close to unthinkable. Luckily, Rufus had a very extended family, and everyone was called to pitch in. His parents provided $400, most uncles gave $50 each one, and other friends of the family gave $30.

After holding the arms of his seat firmly for almost 15 hours, Rufus woke up a few minutes before landing in Chicago. This was his second time on a plane, but he still sweated whenever he remembered he was flying. The woman sitting next to him kept telling him to remain calm and to relax his arms. Rufus agreed with a smile every time, but as soon as the woman stopped looking, he assumed a terror-stricken cat posture.

From the plane, that mythic magic land that everyone talked about in Kenya seemed to be true. Rufus couldn’t stop staring at the skyscrapers of Chicago, and his neighbor couldn’t take her eyes away from him. After Chicago he flew to Kalamazoo where a couple of American students picked him up. Since Rufus didn’t know what type of formality to expect in America, he chose to wear his elegant outfit. However, when he saw the students wearing sweatpants on campus, he felt as most tourists that travel to Africa must feel when they realize that they are the only ones wearing safari suits in the city.

Rufus mentioned that “most American tourists get surprised when they land in Nairobi and they see cars instead of lions wandering around.” That might be a great disappointment, but Rufus’ cultural shock was greater. One of the students who showed the campus to Rufus asked him if he had bought his clothes on the plane and if he could see giraffes from his house. Rufus didn’t really understand the question. It didn’t take him long to believe that, in fact “most people knew nothing about Kenya, or Africa, or the world. They can only imagine me as some kind of a wild tribe man,” he said. “I thought America was this place where people knew so much about everything. At the end of the day you just have to play along and laugh at them.”

The truth is that everyone in his family wears clothes. His parents and siblings have regular jobs, and one of them runs a business. But, certainly, they maintain some traditions of their tribal ancestors. Actually, they still belong to a tribe, since that’s part of the political structure they use in the sub-Saharan countries. “In the U.S. sometimes you’re required to write down your ethnicity. It’s the same thing over there, but with tribe names,” explained Rufus.

Rufus friends say he likes to get into very interesting, but too long explanations about political and social issues, but above all, he likes to laugh. “I can’t think of a single day that I haven’t seen Rufus smiling,” said Toshi Itto, his Japanese roommate. “I haven’t met a more lovable person on campus,” also declared Mary Corcoran an American K College student.

During the welcoming act for the internationals, after Rufus took the paper out of his pocket, it was a poem he had written. There he described himself as “an unapologetic African fascinated about leadership, who believed to have a calling toward politics.” Later that day, he was clapping and teaching the rest of the internationals in the lounge a so called bowed legged chicken dance.

Rufus claims to be a social person: he loves hanging out and dancing; however he only went to two parties during his year abroad. Mostly because parties in the U.S. are different than the ones Rufus is accustomed to go. “There’s much of drinking here, for us it’s more about dancing, socializing, and there’s definitely more music than here. Maybe because of the drinking age, I don’t know; it’s like all they think about is getting drunk on the weekend,” he said.

Rufus is not much of a drinker, but once he tried to buy a beer at a Wal-Mart. At the end he didn’t because they were too expensive and also because there were too many to choose from. He is impressed by the variety of choices and opportunities that people have in America. He believes that Americans get spoiled because they have the chance to choose so much.

After his first shift working for the college’s cafeteria, Rufus mentioned that “here you can choose if you want skimmed milk, regular milk, 2% milk, chocolate milk; whereas in Africa many people don’t even have a chance to drink milk. That’s obviously another subject, and it’s not their business, but it really hurts me to see so much food being wasted every day.”

The American way of living is something that Rufus wasn’t too happy about either. “At home we are not attached to our watches; time goes by very slowly and sometimes I miss that,” said Rufus. “In Kenya when something is supposed to start let’s say at 9, the jam is not if it’ll start late, the jam is if it’ll actually happen.” He feels that he has to run all the time here; if he could, he would be late just for the fact of being late. People might think that’s a lazy way of thinking, but, Rufus is anything but lazy.

Rufus has three different jobs in K College. He was a language teaching assistant for Kiswahili, an assistant at the Center for International Programs and a dishwasher at the college’s cafeteria. Many people have asked him why he works so much if he has no expenses here. “It’s an opportunity to meet new people and learn, besides I really need the money,” Rufus explained. He feels compelled to help out his family and to return some of the funds that his family managed to gather for his flight. He will also need some money for the summer.

Rufus got an internship for the summer with a senator for the state of Michigan. He knows this is a big step toward his goal of becoming a political leader. After the summer Rufus could actually stay here and get an illegal job, earn more money than he would as a professional in Kenya and even send some extra cash to his family. Yet, Rufus aspires to help his people in a much greater way as a diplomat.

Having the experience to live “the American dream” is only a step in order to achieve his bigger dream. “This man will be a president, hear me well, this man will be the best president” shouted the cafeteria’s chief cook and pointed at Rufus, as he struggled with a leaking trash bag on its way to the container. Rufus replied: “my name is Rufus Karanja and I approved that message.”

Comments for last Workshop

Marni,

I liked how you included the different students that have their own way to choose their food regardless the NuVal tips. They know what food they should eat, and they get as much as possible according to their budget. The idea that I got is that people don’t pay attention to this new system because they don’t trust it. However, I think you should talk more about why they don’t trust it. You mention that the system favors some foods and labels, but there is actually only one example. I’m sure that if you clearly define your posture towards the NuVal system this piece, would be really tight.

Mary,

Your piece was very interesting, informative and entertaining. I really enjoyed it. I believe that you made a good job talking about striking at K College as an act that has become part of a culture and not a simple obscene behavior. What I think is the heat of the piece is the paragraph where you mention how, legally speaking, there is no differentiation between nudist/child molester/student streaking after Frelon/pedophile. Maybe you should consider taking yourself out of the story and making the introduction about K College LandSea shorter.

Emily,

Great job with the narration throughout the piece; it combines different levels and different stories, which I liked very much. However, it might have been just me, but I didn’t really get if they got divorced or not. I also felt a big change on the pace from the beginning of the story to the end. At first the narration flowed faster, but later I felt it was very slow. Overall I think that this is a nice profile with a lot of context.

Maureen,

I think including Pixley’s opinion was a very smart choice. It gives your piece authority and makes the case of Javin an exposition of a greater topic which is rejection and/or not feeling part of a community. What I think would be helpful is to add more descriptions of Javin. If he says that people judge him by the way he looks and acts, then you should talk some more about how he dresses, talks, and acts. I might be wrong, but I think he is gay, so he might be part of a gay student group, and they could tell you more about him.

Joseph,

Your descriptions are excellent, as soon as I began to read the story flowed easily and quickly. I could also see that you did some research. The combination of historical facts and names, scenery descriptions and the youngster’s actions make this story very tight. What I’m not sure about is the way you end it. I think that the piece’s strength is to show how “Mountain Home Cemetery is a lively place for youth social interaction,” and not that in a couple of decades it will be gone because of soil creep.

Final Feature Draft

The Tribe Man

On the 11^th of September in 2008, almost 30 students from around the world arrived in Kalamazoo, Michigan. They were the 2008-2009 “internationals” of Kalamazoo College. Rufus from Nakuru, Kenya, was one of them. Back in Kenya he was a political science student at the University of Nairobi.

Although the 38K scholarship which he was awarded for covered his tuition, food, medical insurance and other upkeep expenses during his year abroad, Rufus didn’t have it easy. He still had to pay for his plane ticket and for legal fees. In a family where the income per parent doesn’t reach $200 per month according to the World Bank, to buy a $2000 plane ticket is close to unthinkable. Luckily, Rufus had a very extend family, and everyone was called to pitch in.

After holding the arms of his seat firmly for almost 15 hours, Rufus woke up a few minutes before landing in Chicago. This was his second time on a plane, but he still sweated whenever he remembered he was flying. The woman sitting next to him kept on telling him to remain calm and to relax his arms. Rufus agreed with a smile every time, but as soon as the woman stopped looking, he assumed a petrified cat position.

From the plane, that mythic magic land that everyone talked about in Kenya seemed to be true. Rufus couldn’t stop staring at the skyscrapers as his neighbor couldn’t take her eyes away from him. A couple of American students picked him up. Since Rufus didn’t know what type of formality to expect in America, he chose to wear his elegant outfit. However, when he saw the students wearing sweatpants in the campus he felt as most tourists that travel to Africa must feel when they realize that they are the only ones wearing safari suits in the city.

Rufus mentioned that “most American tourists get surprised when they land in Nairobi and they see cars instead of lions wandering around.” That might be a great disappointment, but Rufus cultural sock was greater. One of the students who showed the campus to Rufus asked him if he had bought his clothes on the plane and if he could see giraffes from his house. Rufus didn’t really understand the question. It didn’t take him long to believe that, in fact “most people knew nothing about Kenya, or Africa, or the World. They can only imagine me as some kind of a wild tribe man,” he said. “I thought America was this place where people knew so much about everything. At the end of the day you just have to play along and laugh at them.”

The truth is that everyone in some of his family wears clothes. His parents and siblings have regular jobs, and one of them runs a business. But, certainly, they maintain some traditions of their tribal ancestors. Actually, they still belong to a tribe, since that’s part of the political structure they use in the sub-Saharan countries. “In the U.S. sometimes you’re required to write down your ethnicity, is the same thing over there, but with tribe names,” explained Rufus.

During the opening act on the first day, Rufus introduced himself to as “an unapologetic African fascinated about leadership, who believed to have a calling toward politics.” Later that day, he was clapping and teaching the rest of the internationals in the lounge a so called bowed legged chicken dance.

Rufus claims to be a social person, he loves hanging out and dancing, however he only went to two parties during his year abroad. Mostly because parties in the U.S. are different than the ones Rufus is used to go. “There’s much of drinking here, for us is more about dancing, socializing, and there’s definitely more music than here. Maybe because of the drinking age; I don’t know, it’s like all they think about is getting drunk on the weekend,” he said.

Rufus is not much of a drinker, but once he tried to buy a beer at a Wal-Mart. At the end he didn’t because they were too expensive and also because there were too many to choose from. He is impressed of the variety of choices and opportunities that people have in America. He believes that Americans get spoiled because they have the chance to choose so much.

After his first shift working for the college’s cafeteria, Rufus mentioned that “here you can choose if you want skimmed milk, regular milk, 2% milk, chocolate milk; whereas in Africa many people don’t even have a chance to drink milk. That’s obviously another subject, and it’s not their business, but it really hurts me to see so much food being wasted every day.”

The American way of living is something that Rufus wasn’t too happy about either. “At home we are not attached to our watches, time goes by very slowly and sometimes I miss that,” said Rufus. “In Kenya when something is supposed to start let’s say at 9, the jam is not if it’ll start late, the jam is if it’ll actually happen.” He feels that he has to run all the time here, if he could, he would be late just for the fact of being late. People might think that’s a lazy way of thinking, after all, Rufus is everything but lazy.

Rufus has three different jobs in K College. He was a language teaching assistant for Kiswahili, an assistant at the Center for International Programs and a dishwasher at the college’s cafeteria. Many people have asked him why he works so much if he has no expenses here. “It’s an opportunity to meet new people and learn… besides I really need the money,” Rufus explained. He feels compelled to help out his family and to return some of the funds that his family managed to gather for his flight. He will also need some money for the summer.

Rufus got an internship for the summer with a senator for the state of Michigan. He knows this is a big step in his way to become a political leader. After the summer Rufus could actually stay here and get an illegal job, earn more money than he would as a professional in Kenya and even send some extra cash to his family. Yet, Rufus aspires to help his people in a much greater way as a diplomat.

Having the experience to live “the American dream” is only a step to achieve his bigger dream. “This man will be a president, hear me well, this man will be the best president” shouted once the cafeteria’s chief cook and pointed at Rufus, as he struggled with a leaking trash bag on its way to the container. Rufus replied: “my name is Rufus Karanja and I approved that message.”